Vino Keeno, The Grapevine for the Recreational Wino

Mike Ditka’s Kick Ass Red 2004
$49.95

Wine label said:
A kick ass wine is outrageously good. I’m personally involved in the selection of all the wines that carry my name, but I spend the most time on this one. I’m looking for a big, brawny red wine, with lots of ripe fruit flavors and a firm grip in the mouth. It needs to be the best possible expression of this growing region, and or course it needs to taste great with a good steak. This Mendocino red wine combines the varietals that grow best in that rugged winegrowing area. It’s had extra aging in the best oak barrels, and in the bottle. Since it’s the best, we can’t make much each year. But what we do make kick’s ass.

Rabbi Tuchman says:
We had friends over for dinner who love good red wine as much as we do. We pulled out the RoJaus Decanter and started enjoying various red wines with our take-out thai and homemade chocolate chip cookies. Yeah, a tough combo but we managed!

Our friends brought Kick Ass to the party and we were anxious to taste it. It’s a blend (my personal fave) and with a $50 price tag, we figured it had to be good.

Well, apparently, Mike tastes his wines with a cigar in his mouth because the first comment made at the table was, “Do I have to crawl into my glass to smell the nose?” There was nothing to this wine. Zip. No nose. No body. No finish. Unless you count a tinny aftertaste as a finish.

We were terribly disappointed (although our friend was more upset because it was his $50). The consensus was that this bottle tastes like a $10 jugwine and not like a $50 fine red table wine.

Lesson learned. Da coach needs to stick to da burgers and da cigars.

Frei Brothers Russian River Valley Chardonnay 2004
$16-ish

Wine label said:
Russian River Vally, Sonoma’s premier Chardonnay appellation, is the source of our Chardonnay grapes. With a soft mouthfeel and long crisp finish, this medium-bodied wine has bright aromas and flavors of citrus, pear, peach, and a hint of vanilla and spice.

WebWino says:
Although I have a newfound appreciation of white wines, it still is a hard thing for me want to crack open. I just don’t crave whites. (Unless you are talking about my fave Chenin Blanc… then you’re on!)

Tonight however, the stars where aligned that I had all the ingredients to make one of my favorite chicken dishes. That list of ingredients included white wine. So, out came the Frei Brothers.

I’m not going to say this was a bad wine. In fact, it was actually kind of nice. Not sure if it lives up to the claims on the label (citrus, pear, peach, vanilla and spice?? Um… whatever.) But this is what I will say. I will now judge all whites I drink against Flora Springs Chardonnay. Because it was so wonderful that it basically made me forget that I wasn’t drinking a red wine. And the Frei Brothers… well… with that one I never forgot it was a white.

2000 Almus 7 Bordeaux
$112 (at a restaurant)

Wine label said:
57% Merlot, 43% Cabernet Sauvignon

Rabbi Tuchman says:
We went out to eat at our favorite restaurant and told the sommelier that we really wanted a BIG blend. This one did not disappoint. We thoroughly enjoyed this bottle of wine both with our meal and to sip while we waited between courses. It had a lot of fruit and it had a great nose. We tasted cherry and enjoyed the clean finish. This wine had a very pure flavor. We didn’t taste any oak.

This was delicious and we will be looking for it for upcoming special occasions.

WebWino says:
I’m interested to know if you found it in a store, because all I could find about it online was the fact that people have it on their wine cellar lists. Nary even a photo. Also curious what it costs without the restaurant markup. Do tell…

2004 Earth, Zin & Fire Old Vine Zinfandel
$12.99

Wine label said:
The name and label design were the only motivator in me buying this wine. However I kinda forgot to save the bottle for my review. Whoops.

WebWino says:
The gimmick on this wine is priceless. Earth, Zin & Fire has a clever label, with great catchphrases like “Front Row Zinfandel, With Special Guest: Old Gnarly” and every recreational wino’s favorite justification, “It must be 5 pm somewhere!” The back of the label looks like a concert ticket and has all the several clever rock-n-roll puns. In fact, the entire label presentation is so entertaining that you go into it thinking that the labels might be overcompensating for something.

Shocking, but this Zin is really good! It did not at all taste gimmicky. It wasn’t overly earthy or peppery. Simply an inexpensive wine that didn’t taste cheap. We noticed a long blackberry finish and overall were very impressed with this “Old Gnarly” Zinfandel. Rock on, Earth, Zine & Fire!