Vino Keeno, The Grapevine for the Recreational Wino

Chateau Petrogasm, I LOVE you. I want to pop several corks with you, and find myself in a compromising position in the morning. Yes, I’d even do the walk of shame for you, Chateau Petrogasm. My butt is firmly planted on the bandwagon. I’ll be your largest sycophantic follower.

What in the heck is Chateau Petrogasm?

It is a wine review website, of course. What did you think it was?

Why all the gushing?

Because the lovely folk at Chateau Petrogasm have boiled the art of wine reviewing down to it’s purest form. Never before have I seen a more brilliant take on the whole industry. Their style exposes the feeling of the wine, in a way that transcends words, obliterates language barriers and says more than any verbose wine label, sniffy descriptor or hoity-toity tasting note could accomplish.

How do they achieve such a feat?

Simple. They just post one image as the wine review. A photograph. That’s it. No aromatic intangibles. No descriptions of dirt or vines or climate. No lengthy discourses on flavors you’ll never pick up on. One picture.

As a graphic designer and wine lover, I am in awe of the simplicity of their wine reviewing tactics. Jealous as hell I didn’t think of it, but mainly, I want to bear Chateau Petrogasm’s love child. And if I could drink all of those spendy wines in the process, that wouldn’t hurt either.

Well played, Chateau Petrogasm. I humbly genuflect. And I’ll see you at 8.

(Click here to see which wine was reviewed with a photo of a horse’s ass.)

Treana Red 2004
$36.99

Wine Label says:
Treana Winery is located in Paso Robles, at the center of California’s Central Coast. Having spent more than two decades developing vineyards in and around Paso Robles, the Treana Red blend reprewsnet grape varieties best suited to the region’s unique calcareous soils and distinctive climate. The Treana vineyards are planted primarily to Cabernet Sauvignon. This proprietary red blend is a complex, elegant wine with up-front, dark fruit characteristics, good tannin structure and a long, silky finish.

Treana wines represents a fresh dimension to our state’s viticultural diversity. SNORE.

Rabbi Tuchman says:
After that lengthy, verbose and somewhat boring label, we decided to make this review concise.

The wine is smooth with a sweet subtle nose. It has hints of coffee and berries. All in all, we really enjoyed this bottle tonight with our chicken dinner salads and will buy another one soon.