Vino Keeno, The Grapevine for the Recreational Wino

Orin Swift Cellars The Prisoner Red Table Wine 2005
$78 (At a restaurant)

Wine label said:
Please visit our website (i’m not kidding…that’s about all that is on the back besides the government warning)

Rabbi Tuchman says:
We went out to dinner to celebrate a birthday and were all set to order a bottle of Cain Concepts when the waiter suggested The Prisoner. Being suckers for a great blend (and an unusual name) we took up his recommendation and were very pleased we did. This wine was wonderful.

We tasted lots of berries and unlike many Zin blends, this one had a smooth finish. The waiter told us that was due to the Charbono grapes. Now, having checked out the site, there’s not much Charbono in the bottle but maybe it was just enough to mellow the finish. Regardless, this wine went very well with our steak and grouper. We will be adding it to our personal stock very soon.

Evolution 10th Edition
$14.99

Wine label said:
Intention. The precise amount of 9 varietals produces a lush, of-dry, somewhat tropical wine with a crisp finish.
Happenstance? Coincedence? Chaos? Not a chance. This bottle you hold is a deliberate, pre-meditated attempt to advance the entire wine universe a notch or two. Grandiose? Perhaps, but without Evolution we’d be slime crawling in ooze and that doesn’t sound too appetizing.
Lucky No. 9. As luck would have it, a random number of varietals took a liking to each other and decided to become a lush, off-dry, somewhat tropical wine with a crisp finish. Go figure.

WebWino says:
This wine is labeled as a 10th edition, so it sits in the number 10 spot. However it brags on its nine varietals in the mix, so I guess it straddles 9 and 10. There isn’t a big number in the name, which violates the WebWino Reviews by the Numbers theme… but at this point, who cares? I think the little tab on top of the cork sums it up best:

Chill. Pour. Sip. Chill.

I had the pleasure of sharing this wine with my good friend Grape Lady. If you are a follower of the reviews on this site, you know that the Grape Lady’s reviews are almost exclusively whites. So she knows her stuff when it comes to white wines which is a nice compliment to me knowing next to nothing.

As for Evolution, it was somewhat dry with hints of sweetness, but not at all oaky. It was a food-friendly wine that would make a great summer/patio wine. This wine got the Grape Lady’s stamp of approval. And although it was not my favorite flavor, I could tell that it was a good white wine. (That may be proof that the first white I tasted was not that good after all.)

Wanna know what the nine varietals are? Chardonnay, White Riesling, Pinot Gris, Muller-Thurgau, Semillon, Gewurztraminer, Muscat, Pinot Blanc, and Sylvaner. Wow, all those funky white grapes and I didn’t dump out the bottle? Evolution, indeed.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

9 Mile Road 2004 Shiraz
$16.99

Wine label said:
…Deep red-purple in color, it evokes aromas of ripe black fruits, with hints of licorice, chocolate and exotic spices. The palate is full and juicy, reminiscent of luscious berries with a long, soft finish.

WebWino says:
Hmmm, let’s see. I agree with the dark purple claims made on the label. As for the aromas and flavors… not so much. I don’t think it helped that I had a blueberry cobbler candle burning… couldn’t smell much in the wine. This wine was OK. But it made me realize I might not be the biggest fan of the Shiraz. My friend who joined me for this bottle said it had a distinct Shiraz flavor and she liked it. There you have it.

For me, the jury is still out on Shiraz. It just seems to have a sharper flavor than I prefer. Not a bad wine, by any means. Just not one I’ll make the effort to buy again. However the label design… perfection. If the only thing my review took into consideration was the label, then by all means this is one of the sharpest dressed wines available.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Cellar No. 8 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
$9.99

Wine label said:
…Cellar No. 8 makes only red wines – Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Zinfandel – which deliver rich flavors of cigar, spice, leather, earth, and chocolate. Whether relaxing in your favorite leather chair or barbecuing with friends, Cellar No. 8 is a great discovery which might just become your next tradition

WebWino says:
Well, if I remember correctly, this wine was enjoyed. However, the brevity of the notes I took while drinking it is making review writing a challenge. Allow me to present my notes:

oaky dry
leathery
big
does need air
good with chocolate
decent

I think this one qualifies as a decent wine for the price and as a result I am interested in trying the other reds they offer.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

7 Deadly Zins Zinfandel 2004
$16.99

Wine label said:
Very verbose label, discussing each of the seven deadly sins, but the end is worth quoting:
Oh Lord, forgive me my zin. With the tilt of a glass, I commit seven zins, Oh Lord, with your help… I’ll do it again.

WebWino says:
This wine is very well known, simply because it has one of the most clever names ever. The tasting notes claim, “A blend of seven old vine Zins from seven of Lodis best growers. As you might imagine, this is ripe and rich with lots of spice …quite a bargain at this price.”

Can’t disagree with the notes. In my experience, the wine smelled like a yummy Zinfandel… and it was! I found it smooth and full-bodied. Not peppery like a lot of Zins. I wish I had run it through the decanter from the getgo, but it did air out nicely. Thumbs up for the sinful Zin!

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Five Rivers Cabernet Sauvignon 2003
$12-ish

Wine label said:
Legend has it that once, she fell in love on a mountaintop, and… Aw forget it. I’m not retyping this schlock.

WebWino says:
Rumor has it that wines from the Paso Robles region has been coming along nicely. Well, this is a good example of a decent Paso Robles Cab.

This wine smelled big, it had a great nose. It was a smooth flavor (not overly tannic), especially after being decanted in the RoJaus. It had berry flavors and hints of chocolate. Good wine, good price point, lousy fairy tale on the label.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Four Emus 2003 Cab Shiraz Merlot
$10-ish

Wine label said:
A whole bunch of crap about Gus the Emu which isn’t worth reading until you get to the fourth paragraph which says: Emus? The rock-stars of the outback. Emus are beserk. They run fast, play hard, and, to be honest, we admire their insanity.

WebWino says:
This is one of those goofy wines that sits at the front of the liquor store and comes in a rainbow of flavors. Typically that doesn’t bode well for the quality of the wine. And Four Emus didn’t disappoint. Meaning, that it did. Disappoint.

Truth be told, the ole gaggle of emus (flock? bevy? murder?) pretty much lived up to what I expected. It was a lousy, cheap wine. I wouldn’t even recommend it for a second bottle. Granted, it did improve with time and air… but it was still pretty bad.

Side note: The Four Emus wine label features the pull tab on the back. I first discovered this on the Mollydooker. It’s a neat trick so you can remove the perforated tab easily and use it to find the wine later at a wine shop. Not sure who is ordering Four Emus in a restaurant and later wanting to find it in a wine shop… but hey, neat feature nonetheless.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Three Rings Shiraz 2004
$20.99

Wine label said:
A donkey could make good wine from the Barossa grapes that go into 3-Rings Shiraz. But in the hands of a magician like Chris Ringland, you get much, much more. Oenopalindromic complexity. This rich, dark and lavish wine has all the complexity of a palindrome. Unfortunately, the palindrome is “Ass, or a Barossa?” But why choose? This perplexing tri-ringular flavour circus goes will with anything (and anyone) you bring to the table. Or take home for a snack…

WebWino says:
Of course I’m posting these wines in numerical order, which is not the way I drank them. So the fact that I discovered that I’m not a huge fan of Shiraz thanks to this exercise in numbers won’t make sense… yet.

Truth is, this was an OK wine. My notes tell me it was grapey, and smoother than a cheap Shiraz. Huh, that was worthless. How about this gem, “taste lives up to the smell.” It’s a wonder you’ve read this far. But wait, there is more: fat and juicy and fruity. Aha! A trifecta! Also had a tinny finish.

The overall verdict on this wine that it was good, just not sure it was $20 good. However using the phrase “Oenopalindromic complexity” on the label? THAT is definitely worth your $20.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Two Tone Farm 2003 Merlot
$10-ish

Wine label said:
TwoTone farmers think in dramatic terms. We’re talking “The theater of the earthy arts.” These guys deconstruct farm-style Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon & Chardonnay. We don’t know what the means, exactly, but the wines are ripe, round and altogether delicious….

WebWino says:
I shared this bottle of wine with my mother, who normally steers clear of Merlot. On more than one occassion, she stated (with a touch of surprise), “Actually, this is a good Merlot!”

We decided it was a little earthy, and a little fruity. We noted black cherry flavors and it partnered well with both a spicy meal AND chocolate. Good wine for the price!

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.

Pierre Sparr Alsace One 2002
$11.99

Wine label said:
One is the ultimate expression of Alsace’s premium grape varieties: Riesling, Pinot Blanc, Muscat, Gewurztraminer and Pinot Gris. One is the synthesis of delicate floral aromas and fresh fruit flavors…

WebWino says:
In an effort to mix up my numbers challenge I threw in some white wines. And this one, for me, was quite the challenge. Remember, aside from one Chenin Blanc and a few Chardonnays I’ve allowed into my collection, I am a total Red Wine Snob. Trying a wine that is a mixture of all the types of grapes I have zero interest isn’t exactly fair. For the wine, or for me!

In an attempt to be professional (cough * choke * sputter), I can tell you that the aroma was fruity and crisp and sweet. Unfortunately the aroma was not reflected in the taste. What I tasted on the attack was nothing. Honestly, the first sip tasted like flavor-free water. The finish, on the other hand, was long and strong. It was kinda tart and white-winey.

For me, this was not a pleasant drinking experience. It was a very odd flavor. Perhaps I’d grow to like it with repeated exposure, but with all the Cabs and blends out there begging to be consumed, I’m not sure why I’d bother.

I want to be able to tell you that this is a good unique white wine, with funky flavors that would be a great summer sipping wine. However I just don’t know if it was good. To me it was bad, but if you like a good Reisling, Pinot Blanc, Muscat, Gewurztraminer or Pinot Gris perhaps this would be right up your alley.

This review is a part of WebWino Reviews by the Numbers, a completely pointless theme for reviewing wines.